This week in review…

It’s felt like Friday since Tuesday.  Slow down, enjoy life, take time to smell the roses.  Yeah yeah!  Sometimes, though, there are just those weeks that make you ready for next week.  Have you ever seen the toddler throwing a tantrum in the grocery store?  Several things come to mind when I see them.

1.)  Those poor parents:  How embarrassing to have your child throwing a fit like that in public.

2.)  Those terrible parents:  I would never let my child throw a fit like that in public.  (You don’t have to comment.  I know they will. 🙂 )

3.)  UGH!:  Can’t a girl grocery shop in peace?

4.) Yup!: I feel ya kid!  I’d throw a kicking, screaming tantrum right here in the middle of this aisle with you if I could.

I think we can all honestly say that we have thought every one of these, and maybe a few more.  This week, I’m feeling number 4. I’m ready to throw and adult sized tantrum and have the principal called on me.

This week has been a rough one.  I can’t pin point the ONE thing that’s made it rough.  I’ve just been extra weepy, sentimental, needy.  My husband works swing shift and we live our life 2 weeks at a time.  This is week #2 on second shift with lots of overtime, meaning we won’t have seen each other for 13 days.  All communication is via email or rushed conversations while my students are at specials.  They are usually in list form.  You do this, this and this and I’ll do this and that.  When my husband does get home, I’m in my best sleep and I’m bitching at him to turn the light off, stop playing with the dogs, seriously….hot pockets at 2 am? This morning it was his terrible breathing as a result of being extremely sick. He stormed off to sleep on the couch while I slumbered peacefully for another hour.  Boy, did I feel awful when I woke up to the sweetest note from him on my makeup bag!  Some weeks are just like that.

So, we’ve got 3 more evenings apart during this long stretch and life will go back to normal.  I’ll have my husband home each evening to snuggle, talk to and play games with.  So, starting Sunday, life can slow down a bit and I’ll gladly smell the roses.

 

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Three little words…..

There are lots of them, little three word phrases that mean everything. I love you. How are you? You look pretty. I missed you. My husband and I have 2 little phrases that mean more than I ever realized.

A year ago, my marriage was struggling. It wasn’t because we didn’t love each other or we were unfaithful. We were simply lost. I was self absorbed in my own self pity, self doubt, self hatred…the list goes on and on…me me me! My husband, a fixer, couldn’t “fix” me. Nothing he said or did made it any better. Instead, it probably irritated me. So we got comfortable doing this little dance of being as nice as possible and trudging through each day. Around Thanksgiving 2014, everything came to a screeching halt. We both cried “mercy” and decided that things needed to change. We needed to fix us.

Three words that we’ve always said is “I appreciate you” and “I intend to”.

Appreciation is so important. I appreciate that he goes to work every day for us. I appreciate when he empties the dishwasher. I appreciate when he stares at me creepily because he thinks I’m pretty. Often enough we don’t tell our loved ones that we appreciate them. It’s AMAZING how much telling someone that they are appreciated means to them. I feel appreciated most of the time. Vedran makes sure that my work doesn’t go unnoticed. Sometimes we make it a game to do a little project and see how long it takes someone to notice.

Intention, holy moly, the power of intention. These are some more words that we use often. “Have a good day!” “I intend to.” “Have fun!” “I intend to.” “Get a lot done.” “I intend to.” Intention and choice are so closely related. When you intend to have a good day, bad day, productive day, you are making a choice to do everything in your power to make it happen.

Live with intention and appreciation for all things, big and small.

Dysfunctional family…

I always thought I had a dysfunctional family. My parents have been divorced and remarried for as long as I can remember. The holidays consisted of me being shuffled back and forth between four different family Christmases. Sometimes this was overwhelming, frustrating, and exhausting. It is still all of those things plus now we add my husband’s family into the mix. Sometimes we have to skip seeing certain people. We can’t be all places at once and sometimes we just have to learn to say we’re sorry that we can’t make it. The holidays bring a certain amount of stress and exhaustion trying to see all the people and do all the things. Wow! This post is depressing. I’m not done yet!

Here’s what I know now. My family is not dysfunctional, we’re unconventional. And we are unconventional in the best way possible. I’ve never really felt like a “step”kid. I’ve always been very much a part of all of my families. I see that there is more love surrounding me on a daily basis than most people experience in a lifetime. All four of my parents can get together and have fun for the common good…ME!

This adoption process has brought a lot of feelings of worry. Will our child feel different? Unaccepted? When I say it aloud I realize how ridiculous this notion is. I’ve been “adopted” by several families and have never really felt like an outsider. All families are different. All families have their own dysfunction. My family though, my family is special!

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Do you see the love?