Almost 3 weeks out and I’m feeling pretty darn good. I’ve kept up with company. I’ve floated, without getting wet, on the lake. I can’t complain too much. I’ve probably overdone it and I’m quite uncomfortable. I’m not sleeping well at all. Lack of sleep caught up with me today and has made me a little weepy. I’m still sad for my loss. Sweatpants and dresses are more comfortable than real pants. I’m anxious for Wednesday to find out what the next step is. Hopefully the next step will be moving on with life and waiting the 5 years to say I’m cured. But, if chemo and radiation are prescribed, that will be okay too.
I’ve wondered a lot about being a cancer “survivor”. When does that happen? Am I a survivor now? I suppose I am. I don’t think the Dr. taps you on the head in front of friends and family saying ” I dub thee, Jennifer Mesanovic, a survivor.” LOL That thought makes me laugh. This is how I know that I’m okay. I still laugh and I laugh hard. I think I’m hilarious and I thoroughly enjoy a cheesy joke or pun. So, I’m not just surviving, I’m not just putting one foot in front of the other. Most days, I’m living just like I did before the big C.
Everyone enjoy your holiday weekend. Hug your families tight and laugh. Laugh hard! As for me. I’m going to try and enjoy a quick nap.