Denial, numbness, and shock: I feel like I just got out of this stage. I kept telling myself it wasn’t real, wasn’t that bad. The phone is going to ring and the Dr. Is going to say that there was a mistake. Problem solved, onto the baby making.
Bargaining: I laid in bed so many nights going over every aspect of my life. What could I have done to prevent this? Could I have been a better person? There’s nothing that I could have done. I couldn’t have caught this any sooner. It sucks, it’s not fair….but why do I feel guilty for this? Why do I feel like this is all my fault.
Depression: I’m here. The surgery made it all real. My life will never be the same. I can’t go back. I will never carry a child, go through labor, have announcement photos, breast feed, feel my baby kick inside, play him or her lullabies in my belly. My life has been ruined, you can tell me all you want that it hasn’t, but it has. The life I had planned will never happen.
Anger: I’m here too. I’m afraid that I’m going to hurt a lot of feelings with this emotion. I apologize now. It is not my intention, but my filter is somewhat broke. I’m angry at people for reasons beyond their control. I’m not angry with them, I’m sad for me. I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself, but I do.
Acceptance: In time, I hope that I will be here. I just wish I knew when and I wish that I knew it was going to be sooner than later. I may need counseling, I may need medication, that’s okay. I’ll get it, I’ll be okay.
I’ll make it through. I have people. I have faith. I just wish I could fast forward to okay and happy.