No one tells you how you’re going to feel. They tell you how they, their aunt, their mom, their friend felt. So you listen and you read. You find that you’ll feel anywhere between great and terrible. Sooooo, when people ask how I’m feeling, I simply answer that I’m “hanging in there.” Because….well…that’s what I’m doing.
I’m still blessed though. Blessed to have so many friends that care and have delivered delicious meals and desserts. Blessed to be so close to my mom to have her here to help Vedran care for me. He’s been as wonderful as he can be, but he has to work and sleep. We’d really be screwed without her.
Today, for instance, I was ready to shower and take my catheter out. I’d felt quite sweaty most the morning and afternoon, but chalked it up to the temperature in the house. I got in the shower and didn’t quite feel right. I took my catheter out and mom got some acetone to clean the goo off. I told her that I felt like I was going to puke or pass out. I smelled that acetone and that was it. I was out. Next thing I knew Vedran was up and mom was wiping me with a cold rag. Talk about feeling like a twerp. I apologized. So I took a nap and eventually showered and feel tons better. I’m hoping that was rock bottom and I’m back on the upswing. I’ve walked down the driveway and back.
So, here’s to better days!