It’s funny how I’ve been able to forget this whole cancer thing on the weekends. I guess it’s because I’m able to do what I want to do and I’m surrounded by friends and family having tons of fun. I truly live for the weekends now.
I woke up Saturday morning with a terrible stomach bug. I sent the poor hubs out to get all the stomach relief aids he could find. We were supposed to build a porch on our house. Well, thanks to the parents and the husband, they did it (not without some frustrating moments). I moved from the couch, to a chair outside and back to the couch, until finally coming around to the living late in the evening. Our new porch is super cute, and built with love. I can’t wait to get some furniture on it and enjoy the view this summer.
Sunday was full of enjoying company and getting together with a few of my dearest friends and sharing stories around a fire. Laughter really is the best medicine. Monday was a lazy day, we floated in the lake and enjoyed the gorgeous weather.
I am truly surrounded by so many wonderful people. Family, friends, coworkers are what get me through each day. I could not do it without them.
Monday night, when Vedran left for work, that’s when the anxiety and emotions came roaring back. I laid in bed upset and crying, wishing that all of this wasn’t happening. I think the key is keeping busy and surrounding myself with those people who make me laugh. I know that this isn’t going to be easy. I also know that when surgery day rolls around it will all become real and irreversible. I’m sure I will experience all of these emotions over again ten fold. I guess right now I’m having a hard time feeling that it’s real. It feels a bit like an out of body experience, this must be happening to someone else and not me. I’m looking forward to the moment when I no longer feel the need to blog about this, the moment when I don’t have to take a pill to keep from having a panic attack, the moment when I can just enjoy my life again. I have been given 31 tremendous years, I don’t want to complain too much about one rough year, but I’m just ready for it to be over with.